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This right here is my reason for living; my reason for doing anything. He has saved my life more times that he will ever know- I wish I could tell him how thankful I am. We have been through so, so much together. I am proud of him every single day & I’m so lucky to have such an incredibly loyal, patient friend by my side every minute of every day. These past few months have been so difficult and I’ve had to admit defeat many times; to admit that I can’t always be strong or perfect. Without him, I don’t know how I could’ve gotten through any of it... but with him, I know I can pick myself up again & move forward. Whatever comes at me now, I’ll know I’m not fighting it alone. Love you so much Har ❤️ #notjustadog #doberman #labrador #heartdog #doberdor #blacklab #labradorretriever #dobermanpinscher #dobermanmix #blacklabmix #dobermancross #labradorcross #blacklabmix #dobermanlabradormix #dobe #dobermanlabrador #reactivedog #yellowdogs #bpd #eupd #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #depression #emotionalsupportanimal #emotionallyunstablepersonalitydisorder #bestfriend

This right here is my reason for living; my reason for doing anything. He has saved my life more times that he will ever know- I wish I could tell him how thankful I am. We have been through so, so much together. I am proud of him every single day & I’m so lucky to have such an incredibly loyal, patient friend by my side every minute of every day. These past few months have been so difficult and I’ve had to admit defeat many times; to admit that I can’t always be strong or perfect. Without him, I don’t know how I could’ve gotten through any of it... but with him, I know I can pick myself up again & move forward. Whatever comes at me now, I’ll know I’m not fighting it alone. Love you so much Har ❤️ #notjustadog #doberman #labrador #heartdog #doberdor #blacklab #labradorretriever #dobermanpinscher #dobermanmix #blacklabmix #dobermancross #labradorcross #blacklabmix #dobermanlabradormix #dobe #dobermanlabrador #reactivedog #yellowdogs #bpd #eupd #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #depression #emotionalsupportanimal #emotionallyunstablepersonalitydisorder #bestfriend

photo is an old one but thought i’d do a MH update💫
not doing the best at the moment, binge eating a lot and just feeling extremely guilty for eating. i’ve also just been sacked from my job with an agency because i left one shift after having a panic attack (it’s illegal to sack someone for this but i don’t have it in me to fight it). i wish things were a bit better but yeah i’m weaning off aripiprazole too which isn’t going great i’ve been feeling extremely depressed again so might try and get them to put it back up. i’m also ill with a cold so i’m not feeling great physically or mentally. hopefully i’ll feel better soon☺️ #mentalhealthyoutuber #smallyoutubersupport #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #bpdeupd #bpd #eupd #emotionallyunstablepersonalitydisorder #anxiety #eatingdisorder #mhupdate #mentalhealthmonday

photo is an old one but thought i’d do a MH update💫 not doing the best at the moment, binge eating a lot and just feeling extremely guilty for eating. i’ve also just been sacked from my job with an agency because i left one shift after having a panic attack (it’s illegal to sack someone for this but i don’t have it in me to fight it). i wish things were a bit better but yeah i’m weaning off aripiprazole too which isn’t going great i’ve been feeling extremely depressed again so might try and get them to put it back up. i’m also ill with a cold so i’m not feeling great physically or mentally. hopefully i’ll feel better soon☺️ #mentalhealthyoutuber #smallyoutubersupport #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #bpdeupd #bpd #eupd #emotionallyunstablepersonalitydisorder #anxiety #eatingdisorder #mhupdate #mentalhealthmonday

After getting diagnosed with #borderlinepersonalitydisorder earlier this year, I've spent some time reacting, recovering and expressing myself through #painting .
Today I was told the diagnosis doesn't fit after all, but the painting is still about how I feel dealing with #mentalillnesses
I have a #personalitydisorder called #avoidantpersonalitydisorder with traits from other illnesses.
It's really confusing being #misdiagnosed but I feel like my current team of professionals actually know what they're doing and that they care.
#bpd #recovery #antitaboo #thisisme #eupd #emotionallyunstablepersonalitydisorder #turnweaknessintostrength #art
#HungryHeart #acrylic on canvas 80*100cm

After getting diagnosed with #borderlinepersonalitydisorder earlier this year, I've spent some time reacting, recovering and expressing myself through #painting . Today I was told the diagnosis doesn't fit after all, but the painting is still about how I feel dealing with #mentalillnessesI have a #personalitydisorder called #avoidantpersonalitydisorder with traits from other illnesses. It's really confusing being #misdiagnosed but I feel like my current team of professionals actually know what they're doing and that they care. #bpd #recovery #antitaboo #thisisme #eupd #emotionallyunstablepersonalitydisorder #turnweaknessintostrength #art #HungryHeart #acrylic on canvas 80*100cm

Barely keeping it together so filters to the rescue and some flower freckles.
This is the picture I came up with to show just how invisible mental illness is. I am totally loosing my shit today. My anxiety is peak because of the holiday and housing, I have a medical assessment coming up and they fill me with stinking awful uncontrollable anxiety. Makes me not even want to leave the house. I just don’t want to deal with anything else today.
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At all.
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But this is what I look like while feeling like this. Totally crippled today by my own brain.
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: #mentalhealthwarriors #childabuseawareness #domesticviolenceawareness #dontletthemtakeyourvoice #escape #survivor #warrior #bpd #pnd #borderline #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #emotionallyunstablepersonalitydisorder #eupd #bpdcrew #controlisntlove #abuseisntlove #mentalhealthblogger #blog #blogger #mentalhealthisimportant #letstalkmentalhealth #cptsd #ptsd #complexposttraumaticstressdisorder #cptsdwarrior #yougotthis

Barely keeping it together so filters to the rescue and some flower freckles. This is the picture I came up with to show just how invisible mental illness is. I am totally loosing my shit today. My anxiety is peak because of the holiday and housing, I have a medical assessment coming up and they fill me with stinking awful uncontrollable anxiety. Makes me not even want to leave the house. I just don’t want to deal with anything else today. : : At all. : But this is what I look like while feeling like this. Totally crippled today by my own brain. : : : : : #mentalhealthwarriors #childabuseawareness #domesticviolenceawareness #dontletthemtakeyourvoice #escape #survivor #warrior #bpd #pnd #borderline #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #emotionallyunstablepersonalitydisorder #eupd #bpdcrew #controlisntlove #abuseisntlove #mentalhealthblogger #blog #blogger #mentalhealthisimportant #letstalkmentalhealth #cptsd #ptsd #complexposttraumaticstressdisorder #cptsdwarrior #yougotthis

I miss my mom so much. I haven’t heard from her in weeks. I can’t wait until she’s finally out of county. Charlie came in my store the other day. I didn’t even care to see him, I just don’t like facing him anymore. Ross and I fight almost daily. I can’t remember what about him drew me in in the first place, but I constantly feel like I’m in the gutter these days. I was stalked at work by the girl my husband cheated on me with. I told her over and over to leave me alone but she wouldn’t, so I ended up spitting in her face. I’m so thankful she didn’t call the cops because that would have been my sixth battery charge and that makes for a felony. Nothing really matters to past Ross. He’s constantly talking to other girls on Facebook and easily lies to my face about it all even though I go through his phone sometimes and see it all for myself. I bring up what has hurt my feelings and he gets angry and hurts me. It really is a vicious cycle.
We went to the movies today to see scary stories to tell in the dark, funny I kept expecting myself to appear on screen.
I’m such a stupid bitch, seriously.
#borderline #actuallyborderline #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #bpd #eupd #emotinallyunstable #emotionallyunstablepersonalitydisorder #bipolar #bipolardisorder #gad #generalizedanxietydisorder #anxiety #substanceabuse #substanceuse #substanceusedisorder #alcoholusedisorder #aud #alcoholism #mentalillness #abuse #domesticviolence

I miss my mom so much. I haven’t heard from her in weeks. I can’t wait until she’s finally out of county. Charlie came in my store the other day. I didn’t even care to see him, I just don’t like facing him anymore. Ross and I fight almost daily. I can’t remember what about him drew me in in the first place, but I constantly feel like I’m in the gutter these days. I was stalked at work by the girl my husband cheated on me with. I told her over and over to leave me alone but she wouldn’t, so I ended up spitting in her face. I’m so thankful she didn’t call the cops because that would have been my sixth battery charge and that makes for a felony. Nothing really matters to past Ross. He’s constantly talking to other girls on Facebook and easily lies to my face about it all even though I go through his phone sometimes and see it all for myself. I bring up what has hurt my feelings and he gets angry and hurts me. It really is a vicious cycle. We went to the movies today to see scary stories to tell in the dark, funny I kept expecting myself to appear on screen. I’m such a stupid bitch, seriously. #borderline #actuallyborderline #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #bpd #eupd #emotinallyunstable #emotionallyunstablepersonalitydisorder #bipolar #bipolardisorder #gad #generalizedanxietydisorder #anxiety #substanceabuse #substanceuse #substanceusedisorder #alcoholusedisorder #aud #alcoholism #mentalillness #abuse #domesticviolence

Why am I like this? Oh yeah, cause I’m incapable of the vulnerability it takes to just ask normally for what I need. •
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#borderlinepersonalitydisorder #unstable #mood #moodswings #bpd #emotionallyunstablepersonalitydisorder #eupd #bpdawareness #livingwithbpd #borderline #borderlinebitch #actuallyborderline #schittscreek #schittscreekmemes #alexisrose #boyfriend #insecure #clingy
***trigger ⚠️ ⚠️ ***As it says in the post.... for me it’s my kids, hubby and dog but it’s still a huge struggle.. literally have more ups and downs like a yo yo... but anyways... #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealth #mentalillnesses #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #bpd #emotionallyunstablepersonalitydisorder #depression #anxiety #panicattacks #panicdisorder #bipolar #bipolardisorderawareness #schizophrenia #adhd #schizotypal #actuallyborderline #bpdrecovery #bpdsupport #bpdwarrior #selfharm #suicide #suicideprevention #trigger
Think dialectic 💭 Dialectical means that two opposites can both be true at the same time. This week, I am feeling both happy and sad about the same situation. Both of these are valid at the same time.
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Today I feel stressed because I haven’t done much AND today I feel proud of myself for allowing my body to rest when it needed.
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[visual description : drawing of two Naomi’s. She is standing on a balanced scale. One Naomi says ‘you can be independent’ and the other Naomi says ‘AND ask for help’ the scales say ‘Think Dialectic’]
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#emotionallyunstablepersonalitydisorder #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #dialecticalbehaviortherapy #eupd #bpd #dbt #dbtskills #dbtdrawings #mentalhealth #mentalillness #mentalhealthart #recovery #borderlinerecovery

Think dialectic 💭 Dialectical means that two opposites can both be true at the same time. This week, I am feeling both happy and sad about the same situation. Both of these are valid at the same time. • Today I feel stressed because I haven’t done much AND today I feel proud of myself for allowing my body to rest when it needed. • [visual description : drawing of two Naomi’s. She is standing on a balanced scale. One Naomi says ‘you can be independent’ and the other Naomi says ‘AND ask for help’ the scales say ‘Think Dialectic’] • #emotionallyunstablepersonalitydisorder #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #dialecticalbehaviortherapy #eupd #bpd #dbt #dbtskills #dbtdrawings #mentalhealth #mentalillness #mentalhealthart #recovery #borderlinerecovery

I think I might be drowning. TW⚠️: I would do anything to relieve the pain. Hurt myself to get rid of the hurt inside. I don’t want to be here anymore. Eternal numbness and not existing anymore sounds good to me. Because every time I start to have hope and actually start to feel better, this is what happens. I just go backwards. I shouldn’t honestly have hope anymore. All day i am miserable. I can’t do anything and people criticize me for that. But they don’t fucking understand what it’s like. I feel like no one understands. I’m stuck in a body that I hate both for its appearance and for it being unable to let me do anything. I’m so exhausted! I can’t take it anymore. When is this going to end?? Because every time it looks like there’s actually light at the end of the tunnel, that “light” is somehow obstructed and then I can never get to it. It’s like going down the road in the tunnel and falling in a hole that you didn’t see in the road before you can reach the light. And you keep climbing out of the hole and it takes all of your effort, but then you just keep falling into another hole, and then another. It’s been 6 and a half weeks since I last cut myself. I cannot ruin that. But the idea of it is so inviting. I’ll do everything in my power to get that out of my mind. But once it comes, it’s very hard to get it away. Maybe that’s why it’s best to stay in my room. My room is safe and away from all of the temptations. Every time I leave my room to go actually do something like shower or eat, I can’t help but cry. It’s like my body is begging me not to put it through anymore than it can handle. I wish I could just sleep for the rest of my life. Be in a coma. Be numb. Feel better. I need help. #bpd #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #borderlinepersonality #personalitydisorder #eupd #emotionallyunstable #emotionallyunstablepersonalitydisorder #ocd #anxiety #depression #depressed #helpme #suicide #selfharm #death #sad #psychosis #schizoaffective #schizoaffectivedisorder #mentalillnessrecovery #mentalillness #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealth #recoveryishard #fighter #anorexia #anorexiarecovery #edrecovery #eatingdisorder #drowning

I think I might be drowning. TW⚠️: I would do anything to relieve the pain. Hurt myself to get rid of the hurt inside. I don’t want to be here anymore. Eternal numbness and not existing anymore sounds good to me. Because every time I start to have hope and actually start to feel better, this is what happens. I just go backwards. I shouldn’t honestly have hope anymore. All day i am miserable. I can’t do anything and people criticize me for that. But they don’t fucking understand what it’s like. I feel like no one understands. I’m stuck in a body that I hate both for its appearance and for it being unable to let me do anything. I’m so exhausted! I can’t take it anymore. When is this going to end?? Because every time it looks like there’s actually light at the end of the tunnel, that “light” is somehow obstructed and then I can never get to it. It’s like going down the road in the tunnel and falling in a hole that you didn’t see in the road before you can reach the light. And you keep climbing out of the hole and it takes all of your effort, but then you just keep falling into another hole, and then another. It’s been 6 and a half weeks since I last cut myself. I cannot ruin that. But the idea of it is so inviting. I’ll do everything in my power to get that out of my mind. But once it comes, it’s very hard to get it away. Maybe that’s why it’s best to stay in my room. My room is safe and away from all of the temptations. Every time I leave my room to go actually do something like shower or eat, I can’t help but cry. It’s like my body is begging me not to put it through anymore than it can handle. I wish I could just sleep for the rest of my life. Be in a coma. Be numb. Feel better. I need help. #bpd #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #borderlinepersonality #personalitydisorder #eupd #emotionallyunstable #emotionallyunstablepersonalitydisorder #ocd #anxiety #depression #depressed #helpme #suicide #selfharm #death #sad #psychosis #schizoaffective #schizoaffectivedisorder #mentalillnessrecovery #mentalillness #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealth #recoveryishard #fighter #anorexia #anorexiarecovery #edrecovery #eatingdisorder #drowning

Feeling fresh and happy after a productive day 💓💯
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Work our and uni work smashed! I need to remember this feeling when I get bogged down and want to do nothing.
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Such a proud feeling of accomplishment and satisfaction. Now to treat myself with face masks, eye brow tinting and some good old fashioned self care.
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I’m going on holiday with my partners family and I can’t even begin to tell you how nervous I am. Living in the same house as them is just way out of my comfort zone. Haven’t lived with family type members since I was 16!!!!!! So used to my own space. Don’t even get me started on eating. I HATE eating in front of people I don’t know because I always think people are judging me. Like “why is such a fat cow eating.” It’s an awful feeling. :
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Everyone will be on holiday mode and trying to be kind by making sure I’ve eaten but it’s just so uncomfortable. :
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I also become so socially awkward when I’m uncomfortable and dissociate. I often don’t hear people when they talk to me and this comes off as rude but I genuinely don’t hear!!! :
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2 more nights and we’re off I’m just gonna focus on the sea and make sure I’ve packed loads of clonazapam!
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#socialanxiety #anxiety #anxious #anxietyattack #unistudent #openuni #psychologystudent #bpdrecovery #recovery #bpdfam #bpdwarrior #bpdmeme #eupd #emotionallyunstablepersonalitydisorder #borderline #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #letstalkmentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthrecovery #mentalhealthblog #instablog #ristriction #bodydismorphicdisorder #cptsd #complexposttraumaticstressdisorder #hearingvoices #auditoryhallucinations #yougotthis

Feeling fresh and happy after a productive day 💓💯 : : Work our and uni work smashed! I need to remember this feeling when I get bogged down and want to do nothing. : : Such a proud feeling of accomplishment and satisfaction. Now to treat myself with face masks, eye brow tinting and some good old fashioned self care. : : I’m going on holiday with my partners family and I can’t even begin to tell you how nervous I am. Living in the same house as them is just way out of my comfort zone. Haven’t lived with family type members since I was 16!!!!!! So used to my own space. Don’t even get me started on eating. I HATE eating in front of people I don’t know because I always think people are judging me. Like “why is such a fat cow eating.” It’s an awful feeling. : : Everyone will be on holiday mode and trying to be kind by making sure I’ve eaten but it’s just so uncomfortable. : : I also become so socially awkward when I’m uncomfortable and dissociate. I often don’t hear people when they talk to me and this comes off as rude but I genuinely don’t hear!!! : : 2 more nights and we’re off I’m just gonna focus on the sea and make sure I’ve packed loads of clonazapam! : : : : . #socialanxiety #anxiety #anxious #anxietyattack #unistudent #openuni #psychologystudent #bpdrecovery #recovery #bpdfam #bpdwarrior #bpdmeme #eupd #emotionallyunstablepersonalitydisorder #borderline #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #letstalkmentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthrecovery #mentalhealthblog #instablog #ristriction #bodydismorphicdisorder #cptsd #complexposttraumaticstressdisorder #hearingvoices #auditoryhallucinations #yougotthis

I think I've felt all this and more the past few hours 😪
I'm really trying, but I'm also really struggling.
At the moment drawing is keeping me busy, but the crashes when I stop are hard.
Any form of self care is hard. I live somewhere between distractions and destruction. I should have showered this morning, but all I could manage was a sink wash and for now I'm gonna have to count that as a win.
My sleep is deteriorating. Flashbacks are back. The nightmares are increasing and become even more weird and vivid. The others are loud. My arm is a mess... But I AM trying

I think I've felt all this and more the past few hours 😪 I'm really trying, but I'm also really struggling. At the moment drawing is keeping me busy, but the crashes when I stop are hard. Any form of self care is hard. I live somewhere between distractions and destruction. I should have showered this morning, but all I could manage was a sink wash and for now I'm gonna have to count that as a win. My sleep is deteriorating. Flashbacks are back. The nightmares are increasing and become even more weird and vivid. The others are loud. My arm is a mess... But I AM trying

Healthy boundaries, basic car maintenance, budgeting, good sleep hygiene, among other things. •
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#borderlinepersonalitydisorder #unstable #mood #moodswings #bpd #emotionallyunstablepersonalitydisorder #eupd #bpdawareness #livingwithbpd #borderline #borderlinebitch #actuallyborderline #schittscreek
Hi. I threw a fit tonight and then once I got the attention I wanted I began to question why I was getting it. How was your Saturday? •
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#borderlinepersonalitydisorder #unstable #mood #moodswings #bpd #emotionallyunstablepersonalitydisorder #eupd #bpdawareness #livingwithbpd #borderline #borderlinebitch #actuallyborderline #schittscreek

Hi. I threw a fit tonight and then once I got the attention I wanted I began to question why I was getting it. How was your Saturday? • • • • #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #unstable #mood #moodswings #bpd #emotionallyunstablepersonalitydisorder #eupd #bpdawareness #livingwithbpd #borderline #borderlinebitch #actuallyborderline #schittscreek

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Repost from @bpdmatters it really helped me to see this today; because I feel like people probably think I’m being really dramatic by just hiding in my room literally all day for the second day in a row, for what seems to them, over nothing. But the truth is I just can’t face the world. I may look fine during the few, seconds-long interactions I have with anyone today but it’s easy to just hide it for that small period of time. It would be harder to hide it all if I was out of my room all day. It’s getting bad enough that my dissociation is so terrible that each time it worsens today, it takes my breath away. It’s also causing me to “lose time” (anyone who dissociates will know that that means...). So my emotions are just so strong that they’re really taking a toll on my mind and body making me react very dramatically (hiding all day) and that may seem ridiculous to other people on the outside; you may be thinking, well everyone has bad days and they just get out of their beds and deal with them, or only lazy people stay in bed all day it doesn’t matter how you’re feeling... but I assure you this is literally the best I can do at this point. If I were to push myself, I think I would break down again like yesterday, another example of how loud emotions can be. The slightest little things make me burst into tears. The slightest annoyance and I’m yelling. The tiniest discontinuity and I’m paranoid out of my mind for the rest of the day. All I can do is hide. I can only think of this moment cuz if I try to think of what might happen with me tomorrow, I just sink deeper and deeper into the abyss. So I won’t even think about that. I’m just going to focus on right now. That’s all I can really even do... #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #bpd #borderlinepersonality #personalitydisorder #disorder #illness #emotions #anger #sadness #depression #depressed #sad #borderline #eupd #emotionallyunstable #emotionallyunstablepersonalitydisorder #anxiety #dissociation #psychosis #ocd #anorexia #bulimia #recovery #recover #fighter #schizoaffective #mentalhealthawareness #stigmafree #mentalillness #mentalhealth

Repost from @bpdmatters it really helped me to see this today; because I feel like people probably think I’m being really dramatic by just hiding in my room literally all day for the second day in a row, for what seems to them, over nothing. But the truth is I just can’t face the world. I may look fine during the few, seconds-long interactions I have with anyone today but it’s easy to just hide it for that small period of time. It would be harder to hide it all if I was out of my room all day. It’s getting bad enough that my dissociation is so terrible that each time it worsens today, it takes my breath away. It’s also causing me to “lose time” (anyone who dissociates will know that that means...). So my emotions are just so strong that they’re really taking a toll on my mind and body making me react very dramatically (hiding all day) and that may seem ridiculous to other people on the outside; you may be thinking, well everyone has bad days and they just get out of their beds and deal with them, or only lazy people stay in bed all day it doesn’t matter how you’re feeling... but I assure you this is literally the best I can do at this point. If I were to push myself, I think I would break down again like yesterday, another example of how loud emotions can be. The slightest little things make me burst into tears. The slightest annoyance and I’m yelling. The tiniest discontinuity and I’m paranoid out of my mind for the rest of the day. All I can do is hide. I can only think of this moment cuz if I try to think of what might happen with me tomorrow, I just sink deeper and deeper into the abyss. So I won’t even think about that. I’m just going to focus on right now. That’s all I can really even do... #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #bpd #borderlinepersonality #personalitydisorder #disorder #illness #emotions #anger #sadness #depression #depressed #sad #borderline #eupd #emotionallyunstable #emotionallyunstablepersonalitydisorder #anxiety #dissociation #psychosis #ocd #anorexia #bulimia #recovery #recover #fighter #schizoaffective #mentalhealthawareness #stigmafree #mentalillness #mentalhealth

I don’t tend to post positive milestones, as I’m not usually the best at focusing on them, but I’m getting better with it! A week ago marked six months out of hospital! After thirteen admissions ranging from three to one hundred and three days, over twenty-seven months, this is the longest I’ve gone without going inpatient!!! 😃 I’m actually doing the best I’ve ever been! I’ve been striving for contentment, and not total happiness all the time, which is actually leading me to feel more positive. Contentment is so under appreciated.
Being able to just feel okay, comfortable, and at peace, is amazing! ☺️ It’s such a nice thing to feel after so long in a bad place, and it’s so much easier to achieve. Don’t get me wrong, I still often have some really dark and intrusive thoughts (like after I became overwhelmed looking at yoghurts in the shop today 🤷🏼‍♂️), numb feelings, and have had a few ‘blips’, but I can recognise my emotions better, therefore I’m able to distract or deal with them most of the time. I’ve not even had any mental health input in four months, as that was not getting me anywhere. But yeah, I’m generally doing really well, and learning that it’s okay to feel all the feels. Proud of myself. ☺️☺️

I don’t tend to post positive milestones, as I’m not usually the best at focusing on them, but I’m getting better with it! A week ago marked six months out of hospital! After thirteen admissions ranging from three to one hundred and three days, over twenty-seven months, this is the longest I’ve gone without going inpatient!!! 😃 I’m actually doing the best I’ve ever been! I’ve been striving for contentment, and not total happiness all the time, which is actually leading me to feel more positive. Contentment is so under appreciated. Being able to just feel okay, comfortable, and at peace, is amazing! ☺️ It’s such a nice thing to feel after so long in a bad place, and it’s so much easier to achieve. Don’t get me wrong, I still often have some really dark and intrusive thoughts (like after I became overwhelmed looking at yoghurts in the shop today 🤷🏼‍♂️), numb feelings, and have had a few ‘blips’, but I can recognise my emotions better, therefore I’m able to distract or deal with them most of the time. I’ve not even had any mental health input in four months, as that was not getting me anywhere. But yeah, I’m generally doing really well, and learning that it’s okay to feel all the feels. Proud of myself. ☺️☺️

A blackout in the room again
A busted lip and broken skin.
I wake up in the bathroom
And dare not bother asking
Why the mirror's cracked and all I see
Are shards of glass inside of me.
There's voices there to dare me,
My father's here to scare me.
My mother sits beyond the door she's
Curled up crying on the floor,
Look at what her son's done.
When the weight of all the world's gone wrong.
It's gone wrong again.
Gone fucking wrong.
It's gone wrong again.
Well liars they leave a guilty trail.
And let me tell you something people,
I've been lying for fucking years.
That must be why I'm standing in this space.
Disregarding that I've created these monsters
They're on fucking both of my sides,
So I wipe the blood from both of their eyes.
From all four of their eyes.
And while I wait for wounds to heal
I see you by the window sill,
Your heart's torn out
A plastic spoon
When honesty lit up that room
So I stole the pillowcase to clean
This mess I've made of someones dream.
Now you've seen what I've done,
When the weight of all the world's gone wrong.
It's gone wrong again
Gone fucking wrong
It's gone all wrong again.
This room is old and wise
I fall onto the bed and wonder,
'How did I get here?'
The little boy who would argue with a tree
Just fucking thump his head
And he'll turn back to normal.
Now why is that what I see?
Don't bother trusting me
Don't bother waiting
Don't bother changing things that won't give into changing
Just let me go away.
I'm packed
Whenever
I'm down
Whenever. #bingeeatingdisoder #bipolardisordertype1 #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #emotionallyunstablepersonalitydisorder

A blackout in the room again A busted lip and broken skin. I wake up in the bathroom And dare not bother asking Why the mirror's cracked and all I see Are shards of glass inside of me. There's voices there to dare me, My father's here to scare me. My mother sits beyond the door she's Curled up crying on the floor, Look at what her son's done. When the weight of all the world's gone wrong. It's gone wrong again. Gone fucking wrong. It's gone wrong again. Well liars they leave a guilty trail. And let me tell you something people, I've been lying for fucking years. That must be why I'm standing in this space. Disregarding that I've created these monsters They're on fucking both of my sides, So I wipe the blood from both of their eyes. From all four of their eyes. And while I wait for wounds to heal I see you by the window sill, Your heart's torn out A plastic spoon When honesty lit up that room So I stole the pillowcase to clean This mess I've made of someones dream. Now you've seen what I've done, When the weight of all the world's gone wrong. It's gone wrong again Gone fucking wrong It's gone all wrong again. This room is old and wise I fall onto the bed and wonder, 'How did I get here?' The little boy who would argue with a tree Just fucking thump his head And he'll turn back to normal. Now why is that what I see? Don't bother trusting me Don't bother waiting Don't bother changing things that won't give into changing Just let me go away. I'm packed Whenever I'm down Whenever. #bingeeatingdisoder #bipolardisordertype1 #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #emotionallyunstablepersonalitydisorder

Beautiful walk with some beautiful human beings. It’s crazy how the world has this amazing way of throwing you a lifeline when you need it most.
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Starting to wonder what I did before these beautiful souls entered my life. Surround yourself with people that light your soul on fire. If they don’t, put them out!
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#mentalhealthawareness #letstalkmentalhealth #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #bpd #bpdfam #bpdrecovery #extremeemotions #dissasociation #depersonalisation #nofeeling #scared #mentalhealthblogger #intrusivethoughts #depressionrecovery #eupd #emotionallyunstablepersonalitydisorder #cptsdwarrior #ptsdsurvivor #cptsdwarrior #ptsdflashbacks #anxietydisorder #anxiety #anxietyqueen #postnataldepression #postpartumdepression #pnd #ppd #postnatalpsychosis

Beautiful walk with some beautiful human beings. It’s crazy how the world has this amazing way of throwing you a lifeline when you need it most. : : Starting to wonder what I did before these beautiful souls entered my life. Surround yourself with people that light your soul on fire. If they don’t, put them out! : : : : : #mentalhealthawareness #letstalkmentalhealth #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #bpd #bpdfam #bpdrecovery #extremeemotions #dissasociation #depersonalisation #nofeeling #scared #mentalhealthblogger #intrusivethoughts #depressionrecovery #eupd #emotionallyunstablepersonalitydisorder #cptsdwarrior #ptsdsurvivor #cptsdwarrior #ptsdflashbacks #anxietydisorder #anxiety #anxietyqueen #postnataldepression #postpartumdepression #pnd #ppd #postnatalpsychosis

Shit could get menacin', frightenin', find help
See this is why all the bitches fuck with Ye, fuck what they talk about
Sometimes I scare myself, myself
They take me on meds, off meds ask yourself
Shit could get menacin', frightenin', find help
Ask your homegirl right now, look, you had a shot at Ye
Sometimes I scare myself, myself
You drop everything
. . .
That's my bipolar shit, nigga what?
That's my superpower, nigga ain't no disability
I'm a superhero! I'm a superhero!
Agghhhh!
#yikes #ye #bingeeatingdisoder #bipolardisordertype1 #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #emotionallyunstablepersonalitydisorder

Shit could get menacin', frightenin', find help See this is why all the bitches fuck with Ye, fuck what they talk about Sometimes I scare myself, myself They take me on meds, off meds ask yourself Shit could get menacin', frightenin', find help Ask your homegirl right now, look, you had a shot at Ye Sometimes I scare myself, myself You drop everything . . . That's my bipolar shit, nigga what? That's my superpower, nigga ain't no disability I'm a superhero! I'm a superhero! Agghhhh! #yikes #ye #bingeeatingdisoder #bipolardisordertype1 #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #emotionallyunstablepersonalitydisorder

I think about killing myself, and I, I love myself way more than I love you
The most beautiful thoughts are always beside the darkest. . .
I think this is the part where I'm supposed to say something good
To compensate it so it doesn't come off bad
But sometimes I think really bad things
Really, really, really bad things
And I love myself way more than I love you
See, if I was trying to relate it to more people
I'd probably say I'm struggling with loving myself
Because that seems like a common theme
But that's not the case here
I love myself way more than I love you
And I think about killing myself
So, best believe, I thought about killing you today
Premeditated murder . . . I don't joke with no one, they'll say, 'He died so young'
I done had a bad case of too many bad days
Got too many bad traits
Used the floor for ashtrays
I don't do shit halfway, I'ma clear the cache #IThoughtAboutKillingYou #Ye #bingeeatingdisoder #bipolardisordertype1 #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #emotionallyunstablepersonalitydisorder

I think about killing myself, and I, I love myself way more than I love you The most beautiful thoughts are always beside the darkest. . . I think this is the part where I'm supposed to say something good To compensate it so it doesn't come off bad But sometimes I think really bad things Really, really, really bad things And I love myself way more than I love you See, if I was trying to relate it to more people I'd probably say I'm struggling with loving myself Because that seems like a common theme But that's not the case here I love myself way more than I love you And I think about killing myself So, best believe, I thought about killing you today Premeditated murder . . . I don't joke with no one, they'll say, 'He died so young' I done had a bad case of too many bad days Got too many bad traits Used the floor for ashtrays I don't do shit halfway, I'ma clear the cache #IThoughtAboutKillingYou #Ye #bingeeatingdisoder #bipolardisordertype1 #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #emotionallyunstablepersonalitydisorder

Have missed my little princess so much 😩 3 nights is far to long to be away from you! Can’t wait to see your smiley face tomorrow! My beautiful girl 🥰 #bpd #bpdmum #bpdawareness #bpdsupport #bpdmother #bpdrecovery #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #borderlinepersonalitydisorderawareness #borderlinerecovery #eupd #eupdmum #eupdlife #emotionallyunstablepersonalitydisorder #mentalhealth #mum #babygirl

Have missed my little princess so much 😩 3 nights is far to long to be away from you! Can’t wait to see your smiley face tomorrow! My beautiful girl 🥰 #bpd #bpdmum #bpdawareness #bpdsupport #bpdmother #bpdrecovery #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #borderlinepersonalitydisorderawareness #borderlinerecovery #eupd #eupdmum #eupdlife #emotionallyunstablepersonalitydisorder #mentalhealth #mum #babygirl

I only want you to see
My favorite part of me,
And not my ugly side...
Not my ugly side. #blueoctober #uglyside #bingeeatingdisoder #bipolardisordertype1 #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #emotionallyunstablepersonalitydisorder

I only want you to see My favorite part of me, And not my ugly side... Not my ugly side. #blueoctober #uglyside #bingeeatingdisoder #bipolardisordertype1 #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #emotionallyunstablepersonalitydisorder

Today
I don't have to fall apart
I don't have to be afraid
I don't have to let the damage
Consume me,
My shadow see through me... Today
I don't have to fall apart
I don't have to be afraid
I don't have to let the damage consume me
My shadow see through me
'Cause fear in itself
Will reel you in and spit you out
Over and over again
Believe in yourself
And you will walk
And now, fear in itself
Will use you up and break you down
Like you were never enough
I used to fall but now I get back up
I'm moving on
Oh God just move on #blueoctober #fear #bingeeatingdisoder #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #emotionallyunstablepersonalitydisorder #bipolardisordertype1

Today I don't have to fall apart I don't have to be afraid I don't have to let the damage Consume me, My shadow see through me... Today I don't have to fall apart I don't have to be afraid I don't have to let the damage consume me My shadow see through me 'Cause fear in itself Will reel you in and spit you out Over and over again Believe in yourself And you will walk And now, fear in itself Will use you up and break you down Like you were never enough I used to fall but now I get back up I'm moving on Oh God just move on #blueoctober #fear #bingeeatingdisoder #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #emotionallyunstablepersonalitydisorder #bipolardisordertype1

I am SO done with feeling crap about my body. I was unhappy n when I was 3 stone lighter so I might as well just embrace the flabby hump that appears when I sit down 😂
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Jiggle jiggle lmao! 😂
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I’m determined to enjoy my journey while I’m on it, I’m fortunate enough to walk it with some amazing people with amazing support. Thank you universe ♥️
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#bodypositive #bodydismorphicdisorder #bpd #borderline #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #emotionallyunstablepersonalitydisorder #eupd #depression #depressionrecovery #recovery #bpdrecovery #warrior #mentalhealthwarrior #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealth #letstalkmentalhealth #bpdfam #bpdcrew

I am SO done with feeling crap about my body. I was unhappy n when I was 3 stone lighter so I might as well just embrace the flabby hump that appears when I sit down 😂 : : Jiggle jiggle lmao! 😂 : : I’m determined to enjoy my journey while I’m on it, I’m fortunate enough to walk it with some amazing people with amazing support. Thank you universe ♥️ : : : : : : : #bodypositive #bodydismorphicdisorder #bpd #borderline #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #emotionallyunstablepersonalitydisorder #eupd #depression #depressionrecovery #recovery #bpdrecovery #warrior #mentalhealthwarrior #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealth #letstalkmentalhealth #bpdfam #bpdcrew

This week has just been a struggle for me emotionally. ⁣
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I’m sitting here with gratitude this morning as I set aside some intentional time before my active recovery workout, to focus on what I’m thankful for. ⁣ ⁣
Every morning, I write down 5 things I’m grateful for in my life & 5 dreams I made happen. These dreams haven’t come to reality yet, but it’s affirming them in a sense. ⁣
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My morning routine has helped immensely with keeping my mindset as calm as it can be in the midst of stressful life situations, for that I’m thankful. ⁣
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If you don’t have a morning routine in place and want to, I strongly recommend checking out, “The Miracle Morning” by Hal Elrod, it’s helped me make significant changes in this area!

This week has just been a struggle for me emotionally. ⁣ ⁣ I’m sitting here with gratitude this morning as I set aside some intentional time before my active recovery workout, to focus on what I’m thankful for. ⁣ ⁣ Every morning, I write down 5 things I’m grateful for in my life & 5 dreams I made happen. These dreams haven’t come to reality yet, but it’s affirming them in a sense. ⁣ ⁣ My morning routine has helped immensely with keeping my mindset as calm as it can be in the midst of stressful life situations, for that I’m thankful. ⁣ ⁣ If you don’t have a morning routine in place and want to, I strongly recommend checking out, “The Miracle Morning” by Hal Elrod, it’s helped me make significant changes in this area!

We had to get away again. I know I've only just been on holiday but I can't cope with being at home right now so my husband suggested going away to a hotel for the weekend and I was obviously up for that! This place has a pool and everything so that's great! We can just relax together and still be away!
#escape #escaping #runningaway #hotel #stayingaway #bpdawareness #bpdsupport #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #eupd #emotionallyunstablepersonalitydisorder #bpdsucks #bpdproblems #depressionsupport #support #mentalhealth #mentalillness #besthusband #supportivehusband #Soulmates

We had to get away again. I know I've only just been on holiday but I can't cope with being at home right now so my husband suggested going away to a hotel for the weekend and I was obviously up for that! This place has a pool and everything so that's great! We can just relax together and still be away! #escape #escaping #runningaway #hotel #stayingaway #bpdawareness #bpdsupport #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #eupd #emotionallyunstablepersonalitydisorder #bpdsucks #bpdproblems #depressionsupport #support #mentalhealth #mentalillness #besthusband #supportivehusband #Soulmates

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Falling apart is hard. Reaching out for help can be even harder.
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I'm one of the 'silent' ones. It's difficult for me to wave the surrender flag and concede that the war inside my head has gotten the better of me.
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The thing is, help is out there. Support is out there. Solutions are out there. A shoulder to lean on is out there. Love is out there. Kindness and caring are out there. But you can never experience any of the above without first speaking up.
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'I'm Fine' is a phrase which needs to be totally obliterated from our vocabulary. It's an answer which, more times than not, doesn't even come close to it's original intended meaning.
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NOTHING you have to say is insignificant! NOTHING you are struggling with is stupid! I don't care if someone else has it worse. I don't care if you're a man, woman or child, or what your age, race, religion or political affiliation may be. NOTHING on this earth is more important than your well being!
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PLEASE reach out if you're struggling. Don't isolate and bottle it up as I tend to do. Learn from my mistakes, because I can tell you first hand, it's not worth the added pain attempting to deal with all of this on your own.
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So don't be the one who continues to hurt by standing in your own way my friends. There is hope, if you just take that first step forward by changing your answer ('I'm Fine') to the question ('Are you okay?')......
#choices #changeyourperspective
#imnotreallyfine
❤🙏❤
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#emotionallyunstablepersonalitydisorder #areyouokay #posttraumaticstressdisorder #cptsdissues #struggling #anxietyrelief #reachout #speakup #anxietycoach #majordepressivedisorder #mentalhealthwellbeing #youmatter

. Falling apart is hard. Reaching out for help can be even harder. . I'm one of the 'silent' ones. It's difficult for me to wave the surrender flag and concede that the war inside my head has gotten the better of me. . The thing is, help is out there. Support is out there. Solutions are out there. A shoulder to lean on is out there. Love is out there. Kindness and caring are out there. But you can never experience any of the above without first speaking up. . 'I'm Fine' is a phrase which needs to be totally obliterated from our vocabulary. It's an answer which, more times than not, doesn't even come close to it's original intended meaning. . NOTHING you have to say is insignificant! NOTHING you are struggling with is stupid! I don't care if someone else has it worse. I don't care if you're a man, woman or child, or what your age, race, religion or political affiliation may be. NOTHING on this earth is more important than your well being! . PLEASE reach out if you're struggling. Don't isolate and bottle it up as I tend to do. Learn from my mistakes, because I can tell you first hand, it's not worth the added pain attempting to deal with all of this on your own. . So don't be the one who continues to hurt by standing in your own way my friends. There is hope, if you just take that first step forward by changing your answer ('I'm Fine') to the question ('Are you okay?')...... #choices #changeyourperspective #imnotreallyfine❤🙏❤ . . #emotionallyunstablepersonalitydisorder #areyouokay #posttraumaticstressdisorder #cptsdissues #struggling #anxietyrelief #reachout #speakup #anxietycoach #majordepressivedisorder #mentalhealthwellbeing #youmatter

Sometimes I scare myself! 🔪🤬😭😝🤤🤣✊🏼⚡️This isn't a fucking disability IT'S MY FUCKING SUPERPOWER! #kanyewest #bipolardisorder #bingeeatingdisorder #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #emotionallyunstablepersonalitydisorder #ihatebeingbipolaritsawesome

Sometimes I scare myself! 🔪🤬😭😝🤤🤣✊🏼⚡️This isn't a fucking disability IT'S MY FUCKING SUPERPOWER! #kanyewest #bipolardisorder #bingeeatingdisorder #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #emotionallyunstablepersonalitydisorder #ihatebeingbipolaritsawesome

Hurt people hurt people... you’re feeling hurt but you’ve been hurt by a person hurting... it doesn’t excuse what they have done but hopefully it helps you understand and heal your wounds... #emotionallyunstablepersonalitydisorder #emotionalbalance #emotionalwellbeing #emotioncode #emotionalfreedomtechnique #emotionalfreedom #emotionalsupportdog #socialemotionallearning #practicemindfulness #relationshiphealing #reviveyoursoul #elizabethgoddard

Hurt people hurt people... you’re feeling hurt but you’ve been hurt by a person hurting... it doesn’t excuse what they have done but hopefully it helps you understand and heal your wounds... #emotionallyunstablepersonalitydisorder #emotionalbalance #emotionalwellbeing #emotioncode #emotionalfreedomtechnique #emotionalfreedom #emotionalsupportdog #socialemotionallearning #practicemindfulness #relationshiphealing #reviveyoursoul #elizabethgoddard

I feel happy but just so brain vacant at the same time. If that even makes sense?
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Like I’m not really here, I’m here, my body is at least but my brain isn’t. It’s gone on holiday and I can’t find it. Totally lost.
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Such a weird and wonderful place the mind. One minute your absorbed in such extreme emotion then nothing! Maybe my brain is protecting me, always does weird fucked up shit when I need protecting. Idek what I’m saying anymore 😂 loving this filter tho!
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#mentalhealthawareness #letstalkmentalhealth #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #bpd #bpdfam #bpdrecovery #extremeemotions #dissasociation #depersonalisation #nofeeling #scared #mentalhealthblogger #intrusivethoughts #depressionrecovery #eupd #emotionallyunstablepersonalitydisorder #cptsdwarrior #ptsdsurvivor #cptsdwarrior #ptsdflashbacks #anxietydisorder #anxiety #anxietyqueen #postnataldepression #postpartumdepression #pnd #ppd #postnatalpsychosis

I feel happy but just so brain vacant at the same time. If that even makes sense? : : Like I’m not really here, I’m here, my body is at least but my brain isn’t. It’s gone on holiday and I can’t find it. Totally lost. : : Such a weird and wonderful place the mind. One minute your absorbed in such extreme emotion then nothing! Maybe my brain is protecting me, always does weird fucked up shit when I need protecting. Idek what I’m saying anymore 😂 loving this filter tho! : : : : : : #mentalhealthawareness #letstalkmentalhealth #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #bpd #bpdfam #bpdrecovery #extremeemotions #dissasociation #depersonalisation #nofeeling #scared #mentalhealthblogger #intrusivethoughts #depressionrecovery #eupd #emotionallyunstablepersonalitydisorder #cptsdwarrior #ptsdsurvivor #cptsdwarrior #ptsdflashbacks #anxietydisorder #anxiety #anxietyqueen #postnataldepression #postpartumdepression #pnd #ppd #postnatalpsychosis